Cleaning Arteries, Oceans

Probably the most notorious disease of affluence, other than simple obesity itself, is the epidemic of heart disease in the US. What the American white man needs is a way to reduce their risk that doesn't involve things like, you know, diet change, or vigorous and tedious exercise.

Enter: Fish Oil.

"There is mounting evidence that omega-3 fatty acids from fish or fish oil supplements not only help prevent cardiovascular diseases in healthy individuals, but also reduce the incidence of cardiac events and mortality in patients with existing heart disease. A new study, published in the August 11, 2009, issue of the Journal of the American College of Cardiology, extensively reviews data from a broad range of studies in tens of thousands of patients and sets forth suggested daily targets for omega-3 consumption.

"This isn't just hype; we now have tremendous and compelling evidence from very large studies, some dating back 20 and 30 years, that demonstrate the protective benefits of omega-3 fish oil in multiple aspects of preventive cardiology," said Carl Lavie, M.D., F.A.C.C., medical director of Cardiac Rehabilitation and Prevention, Ochsner Medical Center, New Orleans, LA, and lead author of the article. " From this new article.

So now all we need is to down a translucent flax-colored pill with every one of our Pepperoni Mozzarella Crispy Crust P'zones, to protect our critical little life-pump.

We must obviously see a huge fish oil extraction increase, if this health strategy catches on. But what about overfishing? Peru, for example, is one of the top fish oil producers in the world, and they've already overfished their anchovies to near-depletion. According to the documentary The End of the Line, all of the world's oceans are being overfished, and the problem is only going to become more severe as time goes on.



Fish is probably not going to go away, though. It will probably just become much more expensive. Perhaps too expensive to eat in a pill every day.

It's probably cheaper, for both you and the overused oceans, to just not eat that deep-fried twinky.